Tag Archives: humility

Life’s Lessons

Life’s Lessons

“This is an important lesson to remember when you’re having a bad day, a bad month, or a shitty year. Things will change: you won’t feel this way forever. And anyway, sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the ones your soul needs most. I believe you can’t feel real joy unless you’ve felt heartache. You can’t have a sense of victory unless you know what it means to fail. You can’t know what it’s like to feel holy until you know what it’s like to feel really fucking evil. And you can’t be birthed again until you’ve died.” ~Kelly Cutrone

I’ve always been of the opinion that there are certain life lessons we must learn, and until we learn them, they will keep popping back up in our lives until we get it right. Then and only then can we move on to the next lesson or set of lessons. I’m not sure if this is a hierarchy of life lessons – if certain lessons need to be learned before others – or if each set is different for each person. It seems that we can learn multiple lessons at once – unless I’m just unusually trusted by the universe which I highly doubt – but these pesky little lessons absolutely will not go away until you score a high enough grade of understanding. Even when we lapse and mess up and make embarrassing mistakes that make us want to burry our heads in the sand, I sense that’s all part of the giant Life Lesson – and it’s not going backwards at all – just finding a different path forward.

I’ve also always been of the opinion that our talents were meant for the benefit of others, while our weaknesses were meant to allow others to help us through their talents – like a puzzle – where our talents and skills is the part of the puzzle piece sticking out which fits into another puzzle piece’s (person’s) cavity or void or shortcoming…so that in the end we’re all one big puzzle together…or as the Bible says a little more eloquently, one body. But that’s another blog entirely!

Lessons I’ve learned in the past: (pretty much in the order they were learned)

  • I have to take responsibility for my own actions, but not for others’
  • Anger is okay to feel, but it is not okay to express in a way that hurts others
  • Forgiveness is more for my own letting go than letting the other person “off the hook”
  • Forgiveness is paramount to be able to move on and live a whole life
  • Forgiveness of self is as important as forgiveness of others
  • You cannot love others until you love yourself
  • Love is an action, not a state of mind
  • Girlfriends are essential to a whole and happy life
  • Take care of the skin and body you live in…no dress rehearsals here
  • Isolation from others does nothing but prolong and increase sadness…
  • Connectedness and community are as necessary as air

    Lessons I’m learning now:

  • I’m worth it.
  • What my gut is telling me is probably right
  • We all get in our own way when it comes to finding the right answers for us…and if we can get out of our own way long enough, we may be able to answer our own deep questions
  • Timidity is not becoming
  • Vulnerability and emotion are strengths, not weaknesses

    I found the below insert from an online search, and interestingly enough, it talks about the very concept of life lessons I’ve always imagined…

    10 Rules for Being Human by Cherie Carter-Scott
    1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it’s yours to keep for the entire period.

    2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, “life.”

    3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The “failed” experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately “work.”

    4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.

    5. Learning lessons does not end. There’s no part of life that doesn’t contain its lessons. If you’re alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.

    6. “There” is no better a place than “here.” When your “there” has become a “here”, you will simply obtain another “there” that will again look better than “here.”

    7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

    8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

    9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life’s questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

    10. You will forget all this.

    “I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy…I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it.” ~Art Williams

    Happy learning!


  • A Little Humanity in Us

    A Little Humanity in Us

    “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”
    Mother Teresa

    There’s a woman in my life that I didn’t care too much for. From day one, she rubbed me the wrong way and I kept a cold distance from her. She acted as if she was above the law, talked meanly about other people, name-dropped (one of my big pet peeves), and dressed in really skimpy clothes…which doesn’t really bug me but I’m trying to think of things to add to her bad list. She seemed to lack all of the qualities I admire most in people – warmth, compassion, friendliness, acceptance and being down to earth. I wasn’t mean to her, but I certainly wasn’t any of those qualities I just listed to her either.

    Then I something happened that changed my mind. I overheard her talking about herself and her life. She’d been through multiple divorces, and was now trying her best to put herself through school so she could stand on her own and make a new life for herself. With that insight, I saw her as a human being doing her best, and the rest didn’t really matter anymore. Maybe it’s a cover – maybe she puts on a tough bitchy face to make herself seem less vulnerable. Maybe she’s still in a lot of inner pain and drowns it out by cutting off emotion to other people. Whatever it is, all of her caddy stuff suddenly looked like surface, exterior fluff. Those annoying things weren’t her. Once I saw a glimpse of her humanity – the person behind the symptoms – I saw her through different eyes – with compassion.

    The whole thing made me think about how quick we are to judge other people strictly based on the outer fluff stuff. Maybe not everyone judges, but it is certainly a vice of mine. I’m an analyst, I’m paid to make assessments and judgments, and I let it spill over way too disproportionately into the real world. But quick judgments are the reason reality shows thrive – because the people seem so ridiculously stereotypical that we can’t believe they’re real, but can’t look away either. The bitchy housewife, the machismo guido, the trashy hoarder (no pun intented), the street thug…we actually enjoy making snap judgements on them. But I digress because those are just masks.

    It’s finding the humanity in other people – all people – that’s the challenge. If I stop and catch myself before I put a relative stranger into a superficial category in my mind, and see them for a human being with challenges and bucket lists and heartbreak and victories, then their depth reveals itself and compassion comes easily. Now it’s time to put theory to practice!