“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.” ~Mahatma Gandhi
The very day after I write about disliking online lists, I come across one I like….like enough to repost and forward to promote it. I should clarify, though, that my dislike remains for “how-to” lists…how to live more fully, how to find the artist in you, how to be happier – that sort of thing rarely comes from a list – it comes from unique and insightful blogs! Kidding of course, it comes from you getting out of your own way enough to listen to the world already whispering your name.
This website is chalk full of lists, but they are good. I’m going to pass one along today – 12 Tough Truths that Help You Grow. I chose it because it’s the most applicable to me and things I need to remind myself right now…my only tweak was to add quotes at the end of some of the truths. I hope you can relate as well. “Sometimes the truths you can’t change, end up changing you and helping you grow.” Here are twelve such truths…
1. Everything is as it should be. It’s crazy how you always end up where you’re meant to be – how even the most tragic and stressful situations eventually teach you important lessons that you never dreamed you were going to learn. Remember, oftentimes when things are falling apart, they are actually falling into place. “Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” – Benjamin Spock
2. Not until you are lost in this world can you begin to find your true self. Realizing you are lost is the first step to living the life you want. The second step is leaving the life you don’t want. Making a big life change is pretty scary. But you know what’s even scarier? Regret. Vision without action is a daydream, and action without vision is a nightmare. Your heart is free, have the courage to follow it. Read Awaken the Giant Within.
3. It’s usually the deepest pain which empowers you to grow to your full potential. It’s the scary, stressful choices that end up being the most worthwhile. Without pain, there would be no change. But remember, pain, just like everything in life, is meant to be learned from and then released. “Falling down is how we grow. Staying down is how we die.” ~Brian Vaszily
4. One of the hardest decisions you will ever face in life is choosing whether to walk away or take another step forward. If you catch yourself in a cycle of trying to change someone, or defending yourself again someone who is trying to change you, walk away. But if you are pursuing a dream, take another step. And don’t forget that sometimes this step will involve modifying your dream, or planning a new one – it’s OK to change your mind or have more than one dream. “How does one become a butterfly? You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.” ~Trina Paulus
5. You have to take care of yourself first. Before befriending others, you have to be your own friend. Before correcting others, you have to correct yourself. Before making others happy, you have to make yourself happy. It’s not called selfishness, it’s called personal development. Once you balance yourself, only then can you balance the world around you. Read Psycho-Cybernetics.
6. One of the greatest freedoms is truly not caring what everyone else thinks of you. As long as you are worried about what others think of you, you are owned by them. Only when you require no approval from outside yourself, can you own yourself. “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt
7. You may need to be single for awhile before you realize that, although the co-owned belongings from your failed relationships might not have been divided equally, the issues that destroyed the relationships likely were. For how can you stand confidently alone, or see the same issues arising in your newest relationship, and not realize which broken pieces belong to you? Owning your issues, and dealing with them, will make you far happier in the long run, than owning anything else in this world. “The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” ~Albert Ellis
8. The only thing you can absolutely control is how you react to things out of your control. The more you can adapt to the situations in life, the more powerful your highs will be, and the more quickly you’ll be able to bounce back from the lows in your life. Put most simply: being at peace means being in a state of complete acceptance of all that is, right here, right now. “This life is yours. Take the power to choose what you want to do and do it well. Take the power to love what you want in life and love it honestly. Take the power to walk in the forest and be a part of nature. Take the power to control your own life. No one else can do it for you. Take the power to make your life happy.” ~Susan Polis
9. Some people will lie to you. Remember, an honest enemy is better than a friend who lies. Pay less attention to what people say, and more attention to what they do. Their actions will show you the truth, which will help you measure the true quality of your relationship in the long-term. “Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.” ~Mark Twain
10. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never have enough. If you are thankful for what you do have, you will end up having even more. Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold; happiness dwells in the soul. Abundance is not about how much you have, it’s how you feel about what you have. When you take things for granted, your happiness gets taken away. Read The Happiness Project.
11. Yes, you have failed in the past. But don’t judge yourself by your past, you don’t live there anymore. Just because you’re not where you want to be today doesn’t mean you won’t be there someday. You can turn it all around in the blink of an eye by making a simple choice to stand back up – to try again, to love again, to live again, and to dream again. “Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure… than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.” ~Theodore Roosevelt
12. Everything is going to be alright; maybe not today, but eventually. There will be times when it seems like everything that could possibly go wrong is going wrong. And you might feel like you will be stuck in this rut forever, but you won’t. Sure the sun stops shining sometimes, and you may get a huge thunderstorm or two, but eventually the sun will come out to shine. Sometimes it’s just a matter of us staying as positive as possible in order to make it to see the sunshine break through the clouds again. “I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much.” ~Mother Teresa
“The key to change… is to let go of fear.” – Rosanne Cash
“If you wait to do everything until you’re sure it’s right, you’ll probably never do much of anything.” – Win Borden
“Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” ~M. Kathleen Casey
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill
“If we’re growing, we’re always going to be out of our comfort zone.” – John Maxwell
“You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
“Action will remove the doubt that theory cannot solve.” – Petryl Hsieh
“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” – Confucius
“Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it.” – Buddha
“Do what you want and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” ~Dr. Suess
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” – Maria Robinson
“It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.” ~Edmund Hillary